American Omnibus

A young guy from Wisconsin moves to Florida and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”

The kid says, “Yeah. I was a salesman back in Wisconsin .”

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow.  I’ll come down after close and see how you did.”

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.

 After the store was locked up, the boss comes down. “How many customers bought something from you today?”

 The kid says, “One”.

 The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?”

The kid says “$121,237.65″.

 The boss says “$121,237.65? What the heck did you sell?”

 The kid says, “First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him over to the  automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Diesel Excursion.”

The boss says, “A guy came in here to buy a fishhook, and you sold him a BOAT? AND A TRUCK????”

The kid says, “Well no, the guy came in to buy Tampons for his wife and I said, ‘Dude, your week is shot, you should go fishing’!”

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Many of us have a stereotypical image of the kind of person who constitutes the “serious snorer.” We generally think of problem snorers as overweight, middle aged men who smoke or drink. Those are the ones at risk from snoring, right?

Not really. Problem snoring and sleep apnea doesn’t discriminate. Male physiology, smoking, drinking, and excess weight can all contribute to the problem, but even tiny infants can suffer from sleep apnea. Children with no other medical problems or indicators aside from their snoring or regular exhaustion may suffer from sleep apnea, too.

Sleep apnea is directly related to an increased risk of stroke, heart disease and other serious ailments. That’s why everyone should take problem snoring and sleep apnea problems seriously.

Will a heavy guy in his forties who drinks a six-pack and smokes a pack of cigarettes snore the night away after eating too much? Maybe so. However, don’t let that make you think that sleep apnea and snoring aren’t a very real risk for everyone.

For more information check out the whole package.

“No kingdom can be secured otherwise than by arming the people. The possession of arms is the distinction between a freeman and a slave. He, who has nothing, and who himself belongs to another, must be defended by him, whose property he is, and needs no arms. But he, who thinks he is his own master, and has what he can call his own, ought to have arms to defend himself, and what he possesses; else he lives precariously, and at discretion.”– James Burgh 1774

Is alcohol or drug use badly affecting your life or someone’s life who you care about?
I’m going to tell you about a new at-home recovery program that offers a permanent, natural cure for an alcohol or drug addiction.This program is available in one complete downloadable e-book for instant acces that you work through at your own pace. It takes you step-by-step from where you are now to a deeply fulfilling life with a great purpose.You can begin immediately without having to stop your addiction first, The program works on the premise that “willpower is not enough” and that you can’t expect someone to say “no” to drugs, without first giving them something better to say “yes” to.

That is what this program does… gives a person something better than drugs or alcohol… and the result is that if the program is followed as instructed, the desire or cravings for drugs or alcohol completely disappear over time.  Sound to good to be true? Listen to what others have said about various elements of this program: “This book ‘iced’ my cousin, who was heavily into drugs.  He took the book’s advice and now he’s off of drugs and
happy. I’d like to order 10 more copies.”
Constance E., U.S. Dept. of Health, Washington D.C.

“…frank and friendly…sincere and optimistic… not only concerned with ridding people’s lives of drugs, but also with leading them to a higher state of being and greater fulfillment as individuals… personal rather than systematically therapeutic or a ‘pop’ treatment of a current social concern…touches upon the important factors of human life—the self, relationships, mates, and others.” Corinne Perry Buck, Small Press Book Review”Very powerful material. An amazing piece of work by an amazing man.” Scott Fagan, head of the recovery unit at Brotman

Hospital, Founderof BIZRAP (entertainment industry Recovery Assistance Program), UCLA graduate (Drug Rehabilitation Clinic Design), leader in AA and CA (Cocaine Anon.)So you can see from these reviews some of the great value that people are getting from this program which was developed by an EX-user who understands addiction and how to resolve it from the inside out.

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I was recently watching the news and they had some vice presidents and marketing managers of  some major multi million dollar companies talking about a site that they personally work with to pay consumers for their opinion.   A site that actually just wants the “average Joe’s” honest opinion on products and services and is willing to pay big money to get them.

I tried this site out and it actually pays you just to take surveys. I made almost $100 in my first day just filling out 3 simple surveys.

This is one of the few legit survey sites online, so if you are interested in making hundreds per day just giving your opinions then make sure you check this out.

There is a video on the homepage that will explain everything.  If I were you I would at least check the video out and if you don’t  make at least $300 in your first week they have a 3 month refund
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Dear Mom & Dad,

 Our  Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the  flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got  drowned  because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam  when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam’s mother  and tell her he is okay. He can’t write because of the cast.  I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We  never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn’t been for the  lightning. 

Scoutmaster Keith got mad at  Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he  probably didn’t hear him.  Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?   The wet wood didn’t burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.   Matthew is going to look weird until his hair  grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if  Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed.  It wasn’t his fault  about the wreck.  The brakes worked okay when we left.  Scoutmaster  Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect  something to break down;  that’s probably why he can’t get insurance.  We think it’s a neat bus.  He  doesn’t care if we get it dirty and if it’s hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in  a bus made for 24.  He let us take turns riding in the trailer  until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.  Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy.  Don’t  worry, he is a good driver.  In fact, he is teaching Jessie how to  drive on the mountain roads where there isn’t any cops.  All we ever see up there are big logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn’t let me  because I can’t swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink  because of his cast… it’s concrete because we didn’t have any  plaster, so he let us take the canoe out.  It was great.  You can  still see some of the trees under the water from the  flood.  Scoutmaster Keith isn’t crabby like  some scoutmasters.  He didn’t even get mad about the life  jackets.  He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we  are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed  our first aid merit badges.  When Andrew dove into the lake  and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.  Steven and I threw up, but  Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just food poisoning  from the leftover chicken. He said he got sick that way with food he ate in prison.  I’m so glad he got out and became our  scoutmaster.  He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his  time.

I have to go now. We are going to  town to mail our letters and buy some more beer and ammo.   Don’t worry about anything.  We are fine and tonight it’s my turn  to sleep in the Scoutmaster’s tent.

Love,

Jimmy

If you have enjoyed the summer sun a bit too long, a quick look through your kitchen cabinets can provide you with the relief you need. Here are some all-natural home remedies you can try for sunburns.

Aloe Vera: Remove some leaves from an aloe plant and refrigerate them. After they have cooled, you can peel off the top layer of a leaf and apply the exposed gel directly to the sunburn. Aloe is very effective in relieving pain and inflammation and found in a lot of other skin care products.

Baking Soda: Dissolve baking soda in water, and make a compress using a clean cloth. Alternately, put 1/2 cup or so of baking soda into some tepid bathwater and soak for awhile.  After the soothing bath or compress let the affected area air dry.

Cucumbers: Rub the sunburned area with fresh cucumber slices.  It doesn’t get any easier than that!

Lemon Water: Mix the juice of three or four lemons into two cups of cold water, and then sponge the mixture onto the sunburn.

Vinegar: Lightly rub vinegar on the affected area. It will ease the pain. You may have to reapply a few more times. It will not smell the greatest but it does take away the pain. You can also pour a cup of vinegar in a bath of luke warm water and soak in it for about 15 minutes or longer if desired.  It will relieve the pain of sunburn immediately.  It will reduce the redness and helps prevent peeling. You can also apply the vinegar before going out in the sun and you will lessen the chances of getting sunburn. Of course, you won’t have that tropical, fruity smell!

Living and trying to sleep with a snorer is an aggravation, but that’s only part of the negative consequences associated with the tendency. Snoring can be downright dangerous, too.

Take those who suffer from sleep apnea, for instance. This kind of intense snoring problem is associated with a litany of serious health concerns. People who have untreated sleep apnea are up to three times as likely to experience heart disease and are four times more likely to suffer from a stroke!

In addition, those who saw logs at high volume all night long aren’t really getting a good night’s sleep and are often depriving their body of a healthy oxygen flow.

To make matters worse, over fifty million people in the U.S. alone are serious snorers and some estimates suggest that up to forty percent of that group may be experiencing sleep apnea.

Being forced to sleep on the living room couch because your partner is making a great deal of noise is only one of many problems associated with snoring. When one considers the risks associated with the problem, it only makes sense to learn more about snoring and how to prevent it.

Almonds are not only delicious and make a great snack food, medical studies show they contain as much protein per ounce as red meat. In addition, they aid in reducing the risk of heart attacks by up to 50%. The next time you need something crunchy, reach for a handful of almonds.

“War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.”– John Stewart Mills 

Thank You!

Two nuns were shopping at a grocery store.  As they passed by the beer, wine, and liquor section,  Sister Mary asks Sister Sarah if she likes beer.

Sister Sarah confesses that she does indeed like the brew,  but would feel very uncomfortable about purchasing it.  Sister Mary replied that she could take care of that problem, and picks up a six-pack and takes it to the cashier.

Noticing the cashier’s surprised look, Sister Mary says, ‘This is for washing our hair.”

Without hesitation, the cashier reaches under the counter,  and puts a bag of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer and says, “The curlers are on me!”
 

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